Washington: Thanks for coming along. We need every man we can get.
The Donald: Before we settle down is there a Trump Hotel or Trump Development nearby?
Newt: I need a place for my third wife. Besides I can only stay a few days; I’ve got speeches to deliver, miles to go before I sleep.
Washington: You’re not here to fight King George?
The Donald: I’m here to scout the land, see if we can get some zoning changes for a few casinos.
Newt: Did I just see an Indian?
Washington: Gentlemen we need fighters. We don’t need whiners or sunshine patriots.
The Donald: How about if I host a Celebrity Apprentice Patriot Night?
Newt: You need a PAC, maybe Karl Rose or the Koch Brothers can set something up. Money talks.
Washington: We’re cold, we’re wearing rags and the British are better armed. What can you bring to us now?
The Donald: I’ve got my birth certificate.
Newt: I can help lower expenses; get the government out of our lives.
Washington: Damn it we don’t have a government. We’re basically surrounded and getting ready to fight our way out. We need help. (Pointing to Trump.) And if I were you I’d get a haircut. The British have Indians too and they’d love you.
The Donald: I’m the greatest negotiator who ever lived. Who can I talk to? Maybe I can get them to lower their interest rates?
Washington: His name is King George III and he doesn’t want to deal with us. He only deals with God.
Newt: I’m his man. We’ll talk theology until he gives in. I know these people.
Washington: (To aide) Bring me von Steuben.
von Steuben: Yes General?
Washington: I’ve got two new men for you. Gentlemen, let me introduce you to General von Steuben.
von Steuben: ATTENTION!
The Donald: Hi.
Newt: Hi.
von Steuben: STAND AT ATTENTION!
The Donald: Can he talk to us like that?
Washington: He’s in charge of training.
von Steuben: Do not talk until I tell you to talk. ATTENTION!
The Donald: I went to Fordham University. There was a Steuben Avenue nearby….
von Steuben: QUIET. And get your hair cut. NOW.
Washington: Gentlemen do as General Steuben requests. We will be crossing over to Trenton in a few weeks and we’ll need you then.
And remember always to beware of foreign entanglements.
The Donald: I want my mother.
Steuben: SILENCIO.
Newt: I want my first wife.
Steuben: ATTENTION!
December 25,1776. General Washington leads his army in a daring attack against Hessian forces in Trenton. He is at the head of a rowboat as it crosses the Delaware.
If you were to look carefully you could see two figures silently attempting to flee the boat as it heads toward the battle. There are those who say confidently these men were The Donald and Newt.
We will never know for certainty.
Warren Langer
Still Liberal at 83
PS: I am still recovering from Quadruple Bypass Open Heart Surgery. It takes patience, exercise and determination. Hopefully I have all three.
Still liberal at 84 
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